3 years

Even as I write that title of this post I cannot believe that it has been three years since Calvin was born into glory. I am still in awe of our God and how He brought us through the biggest trial we have had. I still remember people telling me how amazing it was we were getting through the trial and I just kept telling them it is SO not me, but God giving me the strength to get through each day.

I am so thankful for the time I was able to carry him in my belly(42 weeks). Thankful for the way it brought Josh and I so much closer to each other, closer with our walk with The Lord, and closer with our families. The support from our family, church and friends was amazing and we felt so loved and still feel it even today as I look at all the posts from people on Facebook. What a wonderful feeling to know that Calvin is not forgotten.

I really tried to keep myself busy today so I wouldn't cry and I even thought it just felt like another day.  We were upstairs tonight and Josh got Calvin's box down and we spent time going through it.  It brought tears to my eyes when we unwrapped the molds of his hands that Darby, my mom, and my sister did for us in the hospital. His sweet tiny hands that never came out of a fist, but were so perfect because that is how God made him.

Although we still do not fully understand God's reason for taking our first born, I can now thank him for the trial. I am so blessed to have two sweet little boys with us now that we would not have if Calvin were still living. That is such a weird thought to have but it is so true.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Job 1:21 " Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return.  The Lord gives and The Lord takes away; blessed be the name of Lord.