new life

Calvin Matthew was born into glory on October 15, 2009 at 6:52 am. He weighed 5 lbs 11 oz and was 19 in. What a blessing our sweet boy is.



My life will never be the same. I knew that in May when we found out Calvin had Trisomy 18 but now i am realizing it more and more. How wonderful it is to know that calvin is safe in the arms of God right now. My selfishness just wants him in my arms. it was so hard coming home without him on Thursday night. As i was trying to sleep i would close my eyes and just see Calvin laying in the bassinet at the hospital with the most peaceful face--if he could have talked to me i think he would have said "mommy I'm safe with God forever." It is so great to know that we can put all our trust in the Lord and He will get us through the day and days to come.

When we came home on Thursday Josh just kept repeating to me Psalm 37:7 "Be Still and know that I am God." What a wonderful truth that really is.

thoughts

40 weeks


As I sit here this morning and just think back on my pregnancy I get overwhelmed. What a blessing God has given Josh and I that we would be able to carry our sweet Calvin for over 40 weeks now. It is hard to think that at any moment our sweet son could be gone, but I continue to think of Prov 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. It is a wonderful thought that Calvin will be safe in the arms of God and we can definitely trust in that.

I just finish reading a book by John MacArthur called “Safe in the arms of God.” As I was reading the book I found a few quotes that have really encouraged me, here are is one of them
“The decision about whether a baby lives or dies is God’s decision. He allows conception. He allows birth. He also allows death at birth. He allows what is in keeping with His purposes. No death or life occurs apart from the purposes of God.
God is actively involved in every feature of every life, including whether a child is born or dies in the womb, and whether a child lives past birth or dies at birth.”

Calvin having trisomy 18 was God’s plan and we may never understand why he chose him, but we can trust in his plan and know that Calvin will have a much better life in heaven then he ever could here on earth. “Your child who has died did not lose his life, but rather, your child has gained eternal life.”