2 years

As I woke up this morning the first thing that came to my mind was wow two years ago our lives changed forever(really before).  Our sweet Calvin was born into glory at 6:57 a.m and all I remember was this sweet boy in my arms. He had the most precious face.  I was a mommy for the first time yet I would be coming home empty handed only with memories of our boy. God was really with me. I would have never made it through this trial without Him. I had tears of joy and sadness that only He could have given me. Of course I had moments of anger but I knew in my heart that God had a better plan for our Calvin even if we did not understand it.

As I sit here writing now I am so thankful for the people that God has put in our life. I have already received texts letting me know that people are praying for us on this difficult day. I am so thankful that people have not forgotten our Calvin.  This is the second year in a row that we have had lots to do on his birthday and at first I was a little down about being busy. I was thinking this is the day I should just sit around and think about Calvin, but the more I thought it is probably better that I'm not doing that. Yes I can grieve the loss of our first born but keeping busy will keep me from completely breaking down and I will remember that Calvin is safe in the arms of God. He is SO much better off then we are. I thank God that I know that he is with Him and that He has given me the strength to know that he is better off with Him then with us. I know that is not me FOR SURE giving myself that strength.

I will never forget the love that was poured out to us in the 4 months before Calvin was born and after his birth. I have never felt the power of prayer as much as I did those almost 24 hours of Calvin's labor. Thank you Lord for the love that you have shown us and the trial that we had to go through. Thank you for the people you have placed in our lives. I am so thankful that we have you to rely on so we do not have to rely on ourselves. 

Job 1:21 ...the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord!

12 month stats

We went to the doctor yesterday for Canaan's one year checkup.  Here are his stats

19lb 1oz
28 inches long

birthday fun

On Canaan's birthday we took him to build-a-bear and to get his first ice cream cone.  We weren't really sure if he would get what was going on at build-a-bear but he had a great time. We said we would show him a few bears and however he reacted that is how we were going to pick it.  He LOVED it!! Here are a few pictures of our fun night!!

picked his bear

watching the stuffing machine

helping daddy stuff the bear

making sure he is soft enough

washing the bear

taking bear home

first ice cream cone!!

12 months

first birthday

Happy 1st Birthday to our little man!!! Hard to believe that one year ago you came into this world and changed our lives. What a joy you are! It has been so fun watching you grow up and doing new things!  Daddy and I love you SO much!!

31 weeks

excuse the p.j. pants...I told Josh not to get them in the picture!  Hard to believe that we only have 9 more weeks to go. I feel like we just found out we were pregnant.  I am starting to feel ready to meet this little guy. I have had a lot more pain with this pregnancy then with the others. The other night I had a lot of braxton hicks it was making me a little nervous. I have never had so many before.

I feel like I am running out of time to get everything done. I still need to paint the room and get a few things to finish it off. I need to wash all the clothes and get them all put away. It is crazy how much I want to do but my body just won't let me.

11 months

It is so hard to believe that my little man is already 11 months. The time has gone by so fast.

*He has almost 6 teeth
*took his first step on Sunday(11th) but he didn't realize what he was doing and now won't do it again
*loves to swing on his swing set
*loves walking outside on the sidewalk with his walker that he pushes
*loves his food
*loves watching Mickey Mouse!
*likes to clap to music
*puts his hands up high when you ask him how big he is